Soropa Blog

Hello Friends, I have a real pet peeve to share with you and it’s not because I don’t love and appreciate all of your attention, but this thing has got to stop. What I am talking about my friends is when someone who has me on their email list, sends me an email and forgets to use Bcc or Blind Carbon Copy. What some don’t realize is when you don’t use the Bcc and use ‘To:’ or even ‘Cc:’ you are giving away your whole email list. What you are also doing is allowing those who should not have my email address the chance to sell it or worse send me unsolicited email or SPAM.

This has been happening too many times for me to mention, so I thought I would write about it on my website and try and stop some of the madness. When it comes to email blasts that are targeted to your personal and in some cases confidential email list, you should ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS use Bcc: Blind Carbon Copy when you’re using any email program like Microsoft Outlook. Almost all email programs have this option. Web based emails like Yahoo and Hotmail even have this feature so there is really no excuse to send these blasts without using this option. Here is a step-by-step way to make a BCC (Blind Carbon Copy) line in Microsoft Outlook for Windows 2000.

Step 1

At the top of the menu bar. Click on ‘New’ and create a ‘New Message’.

Step 2

With a new message open click on the ‘View’ button at the top of the menu bar.

Step 3

The view will have a drop down menu showing the ‘BCC’ field. Click on that selection.

Step 4

The BCC field should now appear on your new message.

All you have to do now is fill in the Bcc line with all the emails you would have put in the ‘To:’ or ‘Cc’ line separating them with a semicolon. One last thing is to remember to put your email address in the ‘To:’ line. That way you can test and see how all the email addresses will not show up for anyone to see, therefore keeping your email list private. Well that’s all for now. Hope you learned something today. Please use this article well and share it with those that are still giving your email to the world without permission. So remember, let’s all continue to Bcc and not Cc or To anymore. Now you have the answer.

May you all continue to take your businesses to the next level of success.

Jeffrey Alexander Brathwaite, aka “JB” is an Internet Technology Coach, Speaker, Trainer and Broadcast Email Expert. JB prides himself on helping small to medium size businesses that are frustrated with dealing with the Internet. If you are having problems trying to deal with Email marketing and distribution, Search Engine marketing or just getting your own website off the ground the right way. Please go to our website http://www.2thenextlevel.com.

Valentine’s Day has been described as tacky,
smarmy, rude,
damaging, evil. Even those who’re in love on
Valentine’s Day don’t seem to
like it all that much, except maybe for the goodies.
I’m in love, and I don’t like it all that much. After
eighteen
years of marriage, I still don’t know what to get my
husband, if I should get something for my
husband. And I dislike shopping. I dislike choosing.
I’m not known for my wonderful gifts.

The problem is, what Valentine’s Day delivers most
is pressure. Either pressure to find someone to have
Valentine’s Day with, or pressure to be romantic with
the man you have - as if there weren’t better things
to do.

So I pretend. I pretend this is fun. And then I realize
anything is fun if you think it is, and anything is
yucky if you’re crabby about it, and I just feel like
being crabby about this. So I can imagine how many
men might feel. And then I realize I’m wrong. I’m just
dead wrong about the whole thing.

As I said last issue, men like giving girls presents.
They do. And my problem is I’m uncomfortable being
on the receiving end. I worry about what to give
back just because I’m weirded out by a whole day
devoted to the idea of giving to me!

So, let’s pretend something else. Let’s pretend we’re
in love with
everything. With ourselves, with our mates, our
dates, the man across the movie theater lobby. Does
it feel good, or does it feel like a lie?

If you answered It’s a lie - there’s no man in my
life at all! Rori, you’re mad. Or My husband
barely stops working long enough to even notice I’m
in the room, except for Valentine’s Day, because he
has to, you’re not alone. The hardest job in any
of our lives is believing that what we see is not
necessarily what there is.

I don’t have love, what do I do about it? is
why I hold classes, why we get together to talk.
My man is standing in his slippers in the living
room, or there’s that cute man buying frozen
pizzas, but I don’t have love because he’ll never give
it to me. Or I won’t really want it from him.
Except
for Valentine’s Day. Maybe. I won’t get loved. I want
to believe, but I can’t. I don’t.

I’m all about undoing this. Undoing what we believe is
real is our first challenge on the way to
getting love. Since we never can really know what is
going to happen in the next moment, is the
statement I won’t get love true? How would
you
know whether or not it’s true? What if it isn’t true?
What if you are going to
get love, and pretty fast, too? If in the blink of an
eye we suddenly realize we do have it, or we will
have it, the first thought may be Whoa - what a
lot of time I just wasted
assuming I’m not going to get love. I just wasted
about five days assuming that because that fellow I
had that great time with last week hasn’t called me
back, or because my husband seems intent on
pretending I’m not exactly, really here, I won’t get
love. If it’s a lie, then it’s exhausting to hold up
that
lie.

How do we turn this around? How do we all of a
sudden see love, believe in love, get love, if we don’t
believe it’s there for us? As a
famous sporting equipment provider says - Just do it.

The kind of depression, anxiety, blues, mopyness,
melancholy, rage that comes and goes (not the kind
that comes to live with us day and night - please, I
encourage anyone living with the blues to see one
of the alternative practitioners I’ve featured here)
comes from our deep core beliefs about
ourselves, from experiences so far in our history we
can’t remember, and from our day to day
practice.
Imagine trying to undo years of practicing pain by
practicing faith. If we were able to stop
practicing
pain on a daily basis, and yet it took a day to undo
every day we’ve practiced pain, we’d be spending
our lives slowly undoing our lives. That seems so
dreadfully long. It seems like a lot of work.

Like dieting - if I can’t get into that dress
tomorrow, I might as well have the hot fudge
sundae and forget about the dress - undoing
pain seems like an all-or-nothing job. It seems so
daunting, love seems so far away, we stop just a
few steps into the journey and resist continuing on
until we re-convince ourselves it’s just not ever
going to be really there. I attract men
who are
unavailable, I attract older men, I just can’t seem to
meet men, there aren’t any decent men, all the good
men are taken, he’s just set in his ways, he’s just
clueless, he’ll never change is way easier to say
to ourselves than whoops - I’m headed down the
wrong road here, better change course.

You’re going to have to trust me here - changing
course is easier than going on with the lie.

Don’t make it hard. Don’t analyze and process, even
if it’s your personality style. Just stop yourself
wherever you are down the road, sit quiet for a
minute, then turn around. Swivel. Put your back to
the road that’s marked No Love. You’ll just have to
have faith, even though you can’t see it, that there’s
plenty of love to be had. And even if you don’t know
where the road marked Plenty of Love is, even if you
have no idea where to turn first, just turn your back
to the lie of No Love and step forward.

In an instant you will feel better. Imagine
ahead of
you is the place marked Love. Imagine that place
starts where you’re standing. You can have love if
you want love. And even if you’re not certain at this
moment that you really do want love, if you like, I’ll
want it for you. I’ll hold your place in the place
marked Love.

It’s like believing in Tinkerbell. Like believing in fairies.
Even with all evidence to the contrary, with images
of grief, disaster, stupidity and pain thrown into our
faces minute by minute, think about the everyday
images of love, peace, harmony, friendship that we’re
not even looking at, glorious images of beautiful
moments that might be right in front of our faces.
We can be as much a part of love as we are a part
of pain.

In her packed Los Angeles workshops, relationship coach, author and speaker Rori Gwynne teaches women the completely original, simple-to-do and stunningly effective techniques for communication, confidence, and connecting with men that she used to turn her own now-glorious eighteen-year marriage around. Visit Rori at http://www.CoachRori.com to get the Free Coach Rori Mantra and Translations for Connecting with Men, to sign up for the free, powerful CoachRori e-zine, and to see how Rori can help you Have the Relationship You Want.

Do you want your life story to be a long and joyous one, without having every line written on your face?

Yes, we all do! Is there anyone who doesn't want to look as good as they can, for as long as they can?

While there are some very quick fixes such as, minor to major cosmetic surgeries, there are some less extreme measures that you can use to look and feel younger on a daily basis.

(1) Check your attitude!

How do you feel about life?

Is your life going the way you want it to?

Do you take responsibility for what you have created, good or bad?

How about accepting who you are?

Be grateful for what you have, family, friends, a job etc. Then do an assessment of the things you want to change, if any.

Watch your self-talk, if you wouldn't say those things to others, don't say them to yourself!

Be aware of why you want to make any change in your life. It must be something you have committed to, else you will most likely fail and add one more reason to criticize yourself.

(2) Know your nutritional needs!

What you eat has a huge impact on how you look and feel.

The foods you eat help make and maintain soft, smooth, glowing skin.

Wrinkle free skin is important in any anti-aging effort.

The recommended daily food requirements are good guidelines, but you must know how to balance your food intake to keep your body performing at its best.

At any given age, we might need to boost specific nutrients or hormones.

Get regular checkups!

Eat fresh fruits and vegetables as snacks, instead of over-processed manufactured “fast foods”.

Try not to rush your meals.

When food is not given enough time to be digested properly, it becomes a burden on your body, causing un-necessary wear and tear and premature aging!

(3) Take timeouts!

When was the last time you had some fun?

A good laugh?

If you cannot remember, it's been too long!

Even if you must laugh at yourself, find something to laugh about.

Old photos, old clothes you've kept that you will never wear again, find something, anything.

What about pampering?

Done anything special for yourself lately?

A facial, or manicure?

In -home or at a salon, it doesn't really matter.

It's the time you spend just focusing on yourself that will make you feel special and cared for.

We all need that!

(4) Be interested and interesting!

Yes, we are all short on time, we are busy people, but you must make time to be interested in others, your community, the world. You will find that is the only way to be interesting yourself.

Learn something new, a language, a new style of cooking or dance. Learn about a culture that's different than your own.

Ageless, interesting individuals always seem to want to know more about life.

Try not to pry or judge, just be open to sharing opinions and knowledge.

(5) Grooming is ageless!

When did you last update your looks?

A new hairstyle or wardrobe is a very effective anti-aging tactic.

Today there are so many flattering styles of dressing, everyone of us can find one that works perfectly for us.

Subtle changes in hair coloring can make you look years younger.

Lose a few pounds if you need to.

There is a diet that will work for you.

Find skin care that's right for your skin type.

Take care of your nails and teeth.

Beautiful well cared for hands are a must for you, if you want to appear younger!

Anti-aging is more a matter of making the most of what you have, than the sporadic and temporary results gained by invasive and expensive surgeries.

Agelessness is more about maintenance over the long-term than any qick fixes.

Meaningful beauty is not just smooth skin (which is nice) but it is also an outlook on life, your life.

Treat yourself and others with respect.

Balance your physical, emotional and spiritual life.

No one else can or will do it for you!

Get rest when you need it, play when you have the opportunity.

Own your emotions, accept responsibility for your actions, apologise for your mistakes, give and accept praise gracefully.

One of the best ways to anti-age yourself is to not only look good, but to be pleasant and interesting to be around!

Copyright © 2005 Yvonne Finn

About Yvonne: Yvonne has been helping her family, friends and customers choose effective and affordable skin care for over 30 years. She invites you to come visit her and make some great skin care selections of your own, at http://www.herbalhealthyskin.com

They say a picture is worth a thousand words but can a video save your prospect from reading a thousand?

Every where you look everyone seems to want either everything straight away (they don’t want to wait around) or they want a mobile version so they can do what ever they want to do on the move. Just look at the sales of computer laptops and handheld PSP computer games. It’s changed that much now that you don’t even have to flick through your c.d collection anymore to choose your next album because your iPods has them all stored inside and you can change albums with the press of a switch.

So where does that leave you with your “How-to information product”?

When you think about it the explosion of e-book sales has all been down to convenience your prospect has a problem and wants help now. They see your sales page and like the idea of sorting their problem out straight away, and they also are willing to pay more for an instant download. (Just as a side note when was the last time you went to your local bookstore and paid up to $50 for a book, if you’re like me never. But I never gave a second thought about paying it for a 50 page e-book.)

Should you offer a audio package to back up your text book, or offer a video version that your prospective buyer can watch on the move maybe even on their iPod? You should consider how many more sales you could be making (or losing) by not offering these versions. Don’t be put off by offering these versions because if you main product is good enough and your prospect really wants it they’ll pay even more.

And also as a final note if you don’t start to offer these options it’s only a matter of time before your competition does. So get a head start now and leave you competition standing, choking in your dust!

One of the earliest symptoms of fingernail fungus is a yellowish or brownish discoloration of the fingernail. It’s mild, and may go unnoticed, especially if you wear nail polish, but it will likely progress over time. The color change is the result of the fungus producing colored pigments as it grows and gets established under the fingernail.

Fungus grows slowly in fingernails and toenails, so the yellow color may be the only sign of infection you see for quite a while. It’s likely that in some instances, the body’s immune system succeeds in fighting off the fungal infection: if this happens, the discoloration will go away. The immune system finds it hard to fight the fungus, however, because the growth is actually extending into the nail itself, where antibodies and immune cells can’t go. In many cases, therefore, the fungus grows unchecked, and before too long, more symptoms of fingernail fungus appear.

More advanced symptoms of fingernail fungus occur when the nail starts to come apart. Fingernails and toenails are actually made up of dead cells, similar to skin cells: at the root of the nail, the dead cells are piled in layers, like many layers of autumn leaves, packed tightly together. As more and more nail forms at the root, it pushes the rest of the nail out onto the nail bed. When fungus begins to grow through these layers of cells, they come away from each other - that is why one of the symptoms of fingernail fungus is a thickened flaky nail. The discoloration may get worse as well because there is more growth of fungus there, and more pigment being produced.

Fingernails and toenails, and hair, contain a protein called keratin. The outer layer of dead skin cells all over our bodies also contains this protein: it serves as a horny protective covering for our skin. This protein is the main nutrient source for the types of fungi that grow on human skin and hair, and this explains why fungal nail infections frequently spread to the surrounding skin. Thus, one of the symptoms of fingernail fungus, especially if it has been untreated for a while, is flaking, scaling skin, and even redness and inflammation of the fingers and toes around infected nails.

The top data collection methods commonly used for conducting marketing research today are telephone and mail surveys, web surveys and interactive voice response (IVR) systems. Though telephone interviewing is used most frequently, another method may be a better choice for your next marketing research project. Consider the advantages among these alternate marketing research methodologies.

Web Surveys

For online research, a web survey is programmed into an interactive web-based script. The technology supports both closed and open-ended questions. Web surveys are dynamic and can support multiple brands or product types. Due to this flexibility, only one survey has to be programmed. The code then reads directly from the sample file and either pipes in different text or skips to different questions, depending on the situation.

Invitations containing a link to the web survey and login credentials are sent to everyone in the sample file. If the respondent does not finish the survey, they can complete it later by using the same login credentials to re-access the survey. Generally, one or more reminder invitations are sent to those who do not complete the web survey within a specified period of time.

The data set contains answers to each question responded to, as well as minimal information regarding each sample record.

It is best to use web surveys when the targeted respondents access their email regularly and you have access to valid email addresses for the majority of the respondents. It is also best to use web surveys when the sample is coming from a panel, as opposed to a client-supplied list. Also, web surveys have a distinct advantage when it is important to show images or pictures in the survey.

Mail Surveys

With mail surveys, the printed survey includes a different version for each brand or product type. The mail survey is typically sent to every customer who has had recent contact with the company. After completing the survey, the respondent mails it back to the appropriate place. The data is then hand-keyed or scanned into a database table. The data set contains information regarding those who completed the survey.

It is best to use mail surveys when there is only one or two versions of the survey and you have accurate mailing addresses for the majority of the intended respondents. Mail surveys are particularly useful when the survey solicits sensitive information; respondents are often reluctant to tell a live interviewer how much they earn or their opinion on a controversial issue such as abortion.

Mail surveys are useful when time is not an issue but low cost is a priority. The mail piece itself (when professionally done) implies a customer care mentality on behalf of the company sending it, regardless of whether the respondent participates.

IVR Surveys

With interactive voice response, a survey is recorded by a human voice of choice (e.g., male or female). The technology supports both closed and open-ended questions. All or parts of an IVR survey may be recorded and saved as audio files.

The IVR survey is dynamic and can support multiple brands or product types. Thus, only one survey has to be programmed. The code then reads directly from the sample file and either pipes in different text or skips to different questions, depending on the situation. The respondent is taken through the IVR survey one question at a time and is asked to respond by pushing a button on their phone.

The data set contains answers to each question responded to, as well as minimal information regarding each sample record (e.g., whether the number was dialed, if the respondent attempted to take the survey).

It is best to use inbound IVR surveys when:

• The survey contains no more than 10 questions. (Typically, unless there are significant incentives provided, most IVR survey respondents will stay on the phone no longer than three minutes.)
• The survey questions are easy to understand. (Questions should not confuse the respondent or require additional explanation.)
• Most of the questions utilize the same rating scale. (Swapping between different scales can often confuse to the respondent.)
• The ’sample size’ to ‘completes needed’ ratio is very high. (Because the response rate is low, and the completion rate is even lower, a large sample is needed.)
• There are no open-ended questions. (While it is possible to record responses to such questions, the answers are typically vague and not worth the cost associated with processing the audio files.)
• Differences between multiple survey versions (if there are multiples) are minimal.
• The survey requires minimal use of quota cell management.
• The respondents are motivated to complete the survey.

Before your company or organization embarks on its next project, choose a qualified research partner and the best methodology to achieve your marketing research objectives.

Remember that web surveys are ideal when the targeted respondents access their email regularly and/or images should be included. Mail surveys are best used for controversial or sensitive topics and/or when low cost is a priority. IVR surveys are helpful when more than one version is needed to support multiple brands or product types and the respondent is highly motivated.

About this marketing research author:

Rebecca Anton is Managing Director for Operations and Quality with Polaris Marketing Research. The Atlanta marketing research firm specializes in consumer and business customer satisfaction and loyalty measurement programs. Polaris’ state-of-the-art data marketing research methodologies include web surveys, mail surveys and interactive voice response, as well as quantitative and qualitative research and personalized project management. Anton can be reached at 404-816-0353 or find out more at the Polaris Marketing Research website at http://www.polarismr.com/.

‘No man is an island’ the saying goes. The implication is that humans cannot exist alone. I would take the island aphorism a step further and contend that no one can be successful alone. Merely existing day-to-day is not enough. Success must be an essential part of our lives. Individual success builds our personal power, increases joy & fulfillment and grows a strong sense of self-esteem. Regardless of how we define our individual idea of success, it is impossible to manifest that desired outcome alone. Fortunately, women are collaborative by nature. We work well on teams and in efforts for the benefit of others. So why is it so difficult for us to act on behalf of ourselves?

Let’s look at some of the reasons why we allow ourselves to go it alone:

1) We don’t want to ask for help. For many of us, we were told that we could do anything. With that mantra drilled into our minds, it can be a difficult paradox to admit that we may actually need help with something.

2) We are lonely. We feel as if there isn’t anyone who can understand what we are going through so we inadvertently make the problem worse by isolating ourselves. However, if one woman feels this way, chances are others do too.

3) We don’t want to admit that we aren’t perfect. Many of us fear others realizing that we don’t have it all together. In reality, however, not one person in this world has it completely together all the time.

4) We often lack confidence. Confidence is an attitude that is a direct outcome of our self-esteem. When we doubt what we want or doubt that we are capable of achieving something, we are often reluctant to enlist the support of others.

5) We don’t want to admit that we don’t have all the answers. For example, women at work often overcompensate out of a fear of looking unintelligent or unprepared by learning everything possible. This is a waste of energy. Inevitably, a question will come up that we cannot answer.

Instead of inviting a dangerous drift towardfrustrating discontentment, consider taking two steps to set yourself on an authentic path of success:

1) Find a support team. Identify someone with whom you can talk the nitty-gritty. The simple act of self-disclosure will boost your outlook enormously. A support team will also help you offset and minimizes any failures while also championing your vision. I recommend someone outside the family. Family members are too emotionally tied to us. They often cannot champion our success or share our challenges without translating our words into actions that affect them. Don’t forget to ask for what you need from your support team. Do you want them to just listen or offer feedback and ideas as well? Let them know how you would like to be supported.

2) Change your mindset:

a) Replace ‘perfect’ in thoughts & actions with ‘authentic’. Perfect is stagnant, contained and invariable while authentic is fresh, limitless and unique.

b) Recall past successes to help remain mindful of the fact that you are terrific at certain things so you can definitely be terrific at other things too.

c) Allow yourself to ask questions instead of allowing fear to dominate. Each time you ask a question, you give yourself permission not to know. When you do not know, you open yourself up to the powerful world of possibility and learning.

We are each magnificent women. But by falling into the ‘me vs. the world’ trap, we set ourselves up for disappointment. When we limit ourselves by our beliefs, doubts or behaviors, we diminish our opportunity for success and growth increasing our chances of disappointment. Disappointment is emotionally & physically draining and not least of all a huge waste of time. Evaluate what these changes yield in terms of your own success. Pretty soon you will be inventing your own success aphorism!

Elizabeth Johnson is a life coach who specializes in women’s empowerment through authentic living. She works with women exclusively who want something more- confidence, faith, choice, direction, money, time, power. Elizabeth helps women recognize that everything in their life is a choice and by putting themselves first, clarifying their passions and values and by building self-confidence, they can have the life that they want. Her business, E. Johnson & Company offers personal growth workshops & seminars, coaching for individuals and groups, life / work planning services, speaking engagements and facilitated retreats.

Contact Elizabeth at info@ejohnsonandcompany.com or at 860 435 6008 for more information or for a complimentary consultation.

Visit http://www.ejohnsonandcompany.com and subscribe to Elizabeth’s monthly ezine, ‘In The Pink’ and receive a free copy of the survey special report: ‘Women & Confidence 2005′!

“My neck always hurts. Sometimes it kills me so bad, I cannot think and have to go lie down. It all started when I injured my neck years ago. When I get stressed out it is the worst. Well, it doesn’t take much to stress me out nowadays. It’s always the back of my head and neck. I wish I could cut it out. Then maybe I could think and remember better. The last time I had a massage she said my neck and shoulders were the tightest she had seen in months! Nothing seems to help for any length of time. I’m so frustrated!”

This is a very common presentation of the migraine syndrome. Frequently their problems are compounded by overmedicationeither by self-medicating or prescription drugs. Often there is a history of injury to the neck, for example, whiplash. Often they have been to the chiropractor and have been told there neck is so far out of alignment that the curve in the neck is reversed. The curve in the neck is straightened or reversed because of painful spasm. The trigeminal nerve (sensation of the face) and the cervical (neck) nerves are adjacent to each other in the brain stem (the base of the brain). What affects one affects the other. Migraineurs who smoke usually will develop neck problems. It is absolutely essential for the migraineur who smokes to abstain! Smoke is a smell. The sensitivity to the smell is the problem! Also secondhand smoke and perfumes are major problems. The patient can develop extreme sensitivity to stress and after years with frequently develop fibromyalgia.

Neck pain can be debilitating and frustrating. The migraine syndrome makes neck pain make sense. No matter what underlying conditions are there, the migraine syndrome can make it worse. This person falls into the migraine syndrome profile. Let me explain what I mean by the migraine syndrome. It is the outward expression of the body’s sensitivity to light, sound, smell, food, and/or stress. Some people are more sensitive than others; therefore, their reactions to different stimuli are greater. This sensitivity can be manifested in the body as migraines, sinus headaches, neck aches, palpitations, irritable bowel syndrome, motion sickness or vertigo, reactive hypoglycemia, temporomandibular joint syndrome (TMJ), panic attacks, and/or fibromyalgia. Now that’s a mouthful! Understanding what is going on with you is very important in the healing process.

J. Wes Tanner, MD, is a family practice and headache specialist who has been treating people for over 30 years. He has extensive experience in treating migraines and fibromyalgia with excellent success. In Doctor, Why Do I Feel This Way?, Dr. Tanner exposes the secrets and myths about fibromyalgia and the migraine syndrome. To find out more, go to http://www.migrainesyndrome.net.

Picture this scene: You re-arrange your work schedule to attend a party
in your child’s classroom. You happily hug your child hello as you
arrive. Then you notice a table filled with adorable ceramic Dalmations,
beribboned and hand-painted for each child in the class by one child’s
stay-at-home mother.

Now try another: Your alumni magazine features the stunning
professional accomplishments of a former classmate. Unlike you, she
has not let motherhood slow down her professional advancement one
bit. Her children, smiling beside her in the magazine photo, seem to be
turning out fine.

If you’re not prepared, either scene could drag you into “the comparison
trap.” Maybe you’ve been there — times when you measured yourself
against others, with uncomfortable results.

It’s a no-win.

Comparisons are a greased slope into a pit of guilt, envy, anger or
feelings of inferiority and intimidation.

More fundamentally, comparisons fail to honor the uniqueness of each
person’s path in life. Just think of all that’s unique about you and the
path you’ve walked! The universe — or your higher power, if you have
one — never asks you to be anybody but you.

Fortunately, you can break free of comparisons. Here are five simple
strategies you can start using today:

1. GIVE YOURSELF MORE CREDIT.

This strategy is preventive. Look inside, and give yourself credit for your
accomplishments and positive character traits. You might even mark in
your calendar reminders to pause and recognize the heart, intelligence,
imagination and integrity you bring to living life your way.

Start now: What can you give yourself credit for today?

2. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS.

This is another preventive tactic to build your comparison “immunity.”
Cultivating an awareness of all the blessings of your life can take the
sting out of seeing how others are blessed.

You might enjoy counting your blessings in a “gratitude journal,” or
review the best parts of your day as you fall asleep. You might even
count your blessings before you get out of bed in the morning.

Give it a try. How many blessings can you call to mind in the next 60
seconds?

The next three strategies can help in the moment when you have a
“comparison emergency.”

3. EXHALE.

When you notice that you’re comparing yourself to someone else, bring
your attention to your breathing. Then, on an exhale, let the comparison
leave your body with your breath. It’s amazing how a well-timed exhale
can create space for serenity and perspective.

Once you’ve blown the comparison away, you might ask yourself, “Is this
where I want to put my energy today?”

4. RECOGNIZE LOSSES.

Other people’s accomplishments may remind you of goals you have set
aside. Maybe you’ve deferred or even given up hopes and dreams from
earlier, simpler times in your life.

Be kind to yourself, and take time to acknowledge these losses. Create
a ritual or find some other way to give voice to your grief so that you can
move forward in healing.

5. SHIFT INTO A PERSPECTIVE OF GRATITUDE.

Take a couple deep cleansing breaths, letting any tension in your body
leave on the outbreath. Now, see if you can shift into a perspective of
gratitude.

Practice this strategy by bringing to mind a “comparison trigger” from the
past — maybe your ex-significant-other’s new girlfriend, or the obnoxious
alpha-parent you met on the preschool playground. Notice how
relaxing and healing the perspective of gratitude feels.

YOU, YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR CAREER ARE UNIQUE. As you
lovingly attend more and more to your own life and values, you can
leave the comparison trap far behind.

© Norma Schmidt, LLC

Norma Schmidt is a parent of two and a former Lutheran minister. Her
career includes serving as a pastor, campus minister and cancer center
chaplain. She has also worked with children with disabilities. Norma
offers workshops on parenting and on living with serious illness. Her
writing has appeared in “Coping with Cancer” magazine. Download her
free report, “61 Great Ways to Teach Kids about Money” and look
through her other articles by going to http://www.ParentCafeOnline.com

What is real estate value? It isn’t what you have into your house. It isn’t what you feel it is worth. It is what the market will pay. How do you figure out what the market will pay? For single family homes, the best way is by seeing what similar homes have sold for.

Figuring replacement cost isn’t very useful. It’s difficult to say what land is worth in a city center where none is left for sale, for example, and tough to gauge depreciation of the home itself. Valuation from replacement cost is used as a secondary method, and for unique homes that can’t be compared easily with others. However, the primary method of real estate appraisal used for homes is a market analysis using comparable sales.

Real Estate Value 101

First find at least three similar homes in the same area that have sold within the last year, and preferably within the last six months. You can find this information is in county records (sometimes online now), or from a real estate agent with access to the multiple listing service. Make sure you have the basic sales information: sales price, terms of sale, description of the property, etc.

Here is how you use this information to find real estate value. Write down the selling price of your first comparable. Review the description item by item, adding to the sales price of the comparable for each thing it doesn’t have that your subject home has, and subtracting for each thing it has that your subject home doesn’t have.

This sounds confusing, but it will make sense once you try it a couple times. For example, if your subject home has a second bathroom, and the a comparable doesn’t, you add the value of the bathroom to the sales price of the comparable. If a comparable home has a blacktop driveway, and the subject home doesn’t, you take the value away.

What you are doing is rectifying differences, to see what the comparable home WOULD have sold for if it was just like yours. Suppose a comparable sold for $140,000, with one less bathroom than your subject home, and a bathroom is worth $15,000 in your area (ask a real estate agent for help with these figures). You ADD $15,000 for the bathroom it doesn’t have. You subtract, say $4,000, for the paved driveway it does have, that your home doesn’t have. $140,000 plus $15,000, minus $4,000 gives you a comparable sales price of $151,000.

Do this with all differences between the subject home and each comparable. Once done, average the three comparable prices. If, for example, the three comparables now have adjusted sales prices of $151,000, 162,000, and 149,000, add the three figures and divide by three. The indicated value of the home is $154,000.

All appraisal is an inexact science. You might only find comparables sold over a year ago, and have to estimate appreciation in the area. If a comparable sold with seller financing, you have to decide how much this affected the price. Still, for all of it’s flaws, for single family homes this is the most accurate method for finding true real estate value.

Steve Gillman has invested in real estate for years. To learn more, get a free real estate investing course, and see a photo of a beautiful house he and his wife bought for $17,500, visit www.HousesUnderFiftyThousand.com